Effective listening = Listening with intent
There is a difference between listening and hearing
How can we tone the gift that God has given us to be more effective in listening to others?
Listening, does not mean that we have to have all the answers. We do not have all the answers. Do you know what time the mountain goat gives birth? (Job 39:1) Of course not! But God does, He is all seeing and all knowing. While we listen to others we can also be the student, for when someone is talking and sharing their concerns they are also ministering to themselves, just like I am ministering to myself right now. I don’t always do a good job of listening.When I do take the time to hear someone's concerns I ask questions and gain a better understanding of how I then could shift from listening to hearing others, myself and God better.
The process of hearing, is with dialogue. Dialogue is the perfect communication that we can have with god to gain a better understanding of how we can process what we are experiencing in this world and how the Word of God can be applicable to us in our DAILY lives. When someone is talking to us, just like we shift from sight to faith we can shift from listening to hearing; understanding that this is a process.
What can we do with those that need an audience? Once you see those signs in people that capitalize and abuse other people’s time create a process; a plan to escape. There are those people that talk, talk, talk and never ask a question about you, No, ‘how you are doing?’ nothing just all about them. It is always about them and they will keep talking as the day is long if you sit there and let them. Frankly, it is unproductive to entertain conversations like this. Or is that even a conversation for I thought a conversation involved two people. Or maybe a conversation is one that you can have with yourself and a dialogue is between two people…IDK? And because we do not know I have developed an Emergency Conversation Evacuation Plan based on my analysis of a Socrates quote:
"Weak minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Strong minds discuss ideas" ~Socrates~
Emergency Conversation Evacuation Plan:
Example 1: Shanita comes by and begins to discuss her neighbor and her neighbor’s doings.
Shanita: Hey Robert!
Robert: Hey, how are you doing?
Shanita: I’m good. My neighbor put their trash outside their apartment door again! Ugh I cannot stand it when they do that. They are so lazy. Why don’t they just take it to the trash like everyone else? You know what I mean?
Robert: Yeah, that can be frustrating. Do you know why they do that?
Shanita: IDK because they are lazy?
Robert: Well, if you live that close to their apartment maybe you could ask them next time or offer to take it down for them, just a suggestion let me know how that goes. Nice talking to you.
Example 2: Shanita is in the coffee shop. You walk in to get a cup of coffee, bagel and do some work on your laptop. Shanita sees you in line and approaches you.
Shanita: Hey Robert! What you doing here?
Robert: Oh hey Shanita, just getting some coffee. I’ve got some things to work on and you know Sam has the best bagels! Yes Lawd the lemon pepper one! I’m just sayin’!
Shanita: I know right! So Niles’ show is tonight are you going?
Robert: I won’t be able to make it, but I did seen him the other day and we spoke. He just launched a new music video on YouTube very well produced.
Shanita: Word! I’ll have to check that out. So did you hear about Steven’s event next week? Oh and the WhiteOut is next Friday also. I am already looking for a hot outfit, gotta be GQ and looking better than last year.
Robert: I did not hear about Steven and I hope you find that outfit I hear Monqiue’s boutique is having a sale you should stop in and she what she has. It was nice talking to you, I better get started on my work before my bagel gets cold.
Example 3: Shanita sees you at the barber shop. Both of yall are waiting. Her stylist is running behind and you’re early for your appointment.
Shanita: Hey Robert!
Robert: What’s up Shanita, how you doing?
Shanita: Great! Remember when I saw you at Sam’s coffee shop?
Shanita: Well for the past few weeks I have been trying to come up with an idea for my own bagel. It just hit me that we were both there for bagels because we loved them so much. Well I came up with two ideas; Sam could highlight his customer’s favorite bagel like each day of the week and maybe offer a discount on those days for the bagel of the day. He will also know which bagels we like best and stop wasting time, money and ingredients on the bagels that are not selling as well. I also thought maybe he could make a flavored bagel that we like that is not on the menu. For example, I really like Oatmeal raisin with jalapeños.
Robert: Wow Shanita those are some great ideas and I am sure Sam would love to hear all of that. He is a really good business man. Did you know he helps other small business owners write their business plans for their businesses?
Shanita: No I did’t. hmmmmmm
Robert: Yea, so all that stuff you mentioned I am sure he would be interested in hearing about. However, I am not sure about your flavored bagel, I’m just saying that combination is a very unique taste. I’m not knocking you though there are probably more of you out there and that’s coo because there are other Sam’s that could use your ideas. Let me know how that goes.
Shanita: Don’t hate on my flav. LOL see ya
Queen is a Author/Poet that through her written works inspires, encourages and provokes discussions